August 15, 2011

"Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees"

Musta from the bundoks!!  (hello from the mountains!)
Well well well, what a surprise I just got when we looked at the transfer list……I am training again…..and they are splitting my area and Sis Whitley isn’t even staying here with me, 2 other sisters are coming up that I don’t know so it’s gonna all be on me to lead 2 areas……Heavenly Father knows what He’s doing right??  Expect the UNEXPECTED, that’s for sure.  Gosh, this isn’t an easy thing,  I don’t quite know what to think right now.  But as crazy as it all sounds and is, I feel at peace…..I’ve been praying to see more of my weakness and for more faith…..and I know this is from the Lord, my life is in His hands.  Who knows what is coming this transfer, but I feel good about it.  I am really just hoping an American sister is coming….otherwise I will be the only American in the district and almost the whole zone……I can do this.

Ah man, can I just say though how much I am going to MISS my best friends Sis Whitley?!!!  I can’t believe she is leaving!  I have felt SO blessed to have been her companion for 2 transfers, I have learned more during that time than I have my whole life I think.  Well, that’s how it feels at least.  I’m so grateful for that time and know there is much more in store for both of us…wherever we end up.

I am still glad though that I’m in this area!!!!  I love it so so much and amazing things are still happening, amazing people falling into our lap.  Sis Whitley and I were joking around yesterday saying “all we do is wake up and walk outside…..” We honestly feel like WE are not actually the ones doing ANYTHING, the Lord is doing it all, we are just in the right place at the right time and they are all ready for it.  I am so blessed to now be going into my 5th transfer here haha….I really wouldn’t mind staying here until December!
I’ve really been learning how very still and how very small the voice of the Holy Ghost is…..before the mish I would here stories of people who had felt a huge prompting to do something and then they avoided a dangerous situation or they found an awesome person who wanted to be baptized……I can’t recall anything huge happening like that, yet I know I have experienced all those same results, and I can look back and realize that my decisions that lead up to those where just thoughts I had and things I just wanted to do……and the miracles came from that, the small things, not the big things.  Someone talked about that in last conference, Elder Bednar, we cannot look for signs or miraculous manifestations as answers to questions or to receive direction from God…..those are in the minority.  More often than not revelation that comes from God is small, He “worketh by means to bring about His purposes”  I know this to be true, although it is a lot harder to discern, it means that we are worthy to receive the Spirit, and we are in tune.  I love knowing that I am worthy and in tune to be led by God

The other day I was thinking about life and how if we want to become like our Savior we need to make sure we are putting forth effort everyday of our lives.  We need to constantly be working to overcome weaknesses, and when one weakness has become a strength, move onto the next one, don’t sit back and think it’s over.  This gospel requires work, it requires obedience to ALL of God’s commandments.  We are here to make it back to Heavenly Father, not here to obtain anything less.  So, if that’s what we are going for, we can’t miss one day, no break or vacation in this game of life….   Sound tiring??  Yeah, I thought so too.  I had no idea how I was supposed to do that the rest of my life  and not give up.  How am I supposed to keep going?  Well, I knew that only the Lord could answer that question, so I asked Him in my prayer before my personal study.  “Lord, how do I keep going when there is no break in this life?  I don’t want to give up down the road when it becomes harder and harder to live like my Savior.”  He answered of coarse with this scripture I found……Hebrews 12:1-2

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the asin which doth so easily bbeset us, and let us run with cpatience the race that is set before us.  Looking unto Jesus the aauthor and bfinisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him cendured the cross, despising the dshame, and is set down at the right hand of the ethrone of God.”

In this I learned that I need to be patient….patient with myself and my weaknesses, knowing that I will never be able to do it all in one day, year, or lifetime….and I need to allow God to be patient with me.  He is long-suffering and if I can accept that, I will be more happy and capable of overcoming this world, little by little.    He is the finisher, in this I think of myself unable to finish the race on my own because of the mountainous hills set before me, He will make up the miles I cannot run, but not only that, I’m sure He will throw me on His shoulders so we can both finish it together J  He would do something like that, I just know it.  In the end, I too will have a place “at the right hand of the throne of God.”  Needless to say, I felt a lot better about life after reading that and seeing the bigger picture in my head.  I know that when we ask, God will give. 

Let’s see……something exciting…….I got to ride on a caribou!  (can't send a pic this week, puter problems)  I didn’t actually ride it, more like just sat on it for the picture but you get the point.  It was cool either way!  The people are so nice, they just let you sit on their animals whenever you ask.  That was the most adventurous thing that happened this week, pretty fun!  As for other things to mention this week…..I can’t stand my health these days, it’s driving me crazy.  I went on 2 liquid diets this week because my stomach is just messed up…..not a happy camper when I don’t get to eat food.  Not fun.  My stomach still feels funny and I’m always nauseous….how joyous the day when I can get all these WORMS out of me!

I think that’s all I got……I’m happy, I’m growing, I’m getting weirder and weirder as the months go by, and I love life…..and I’m a Mormon.  Okay I had to say it, it totally sounded like one of those Mormon videos on—you should watch them, there are some way cool Mormons in the world!  I am proud to be one of them!

Love you all with all my heart!

Sis. Carroll

“And now I say unto you, that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not…wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole souls…” 2Ne 2:29

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